I wrote this a couple of days ago for Judah’s birthday.
Today is Judah’s birthday. I woke up with it being the second thing on my mind. I don’t remember what the first thing was. It can bother me that he’s not right there in my mind. But then, my mind is pretty cluttered with lots of things. Should I feel guilty about that? Or is that a good sign? It’s Judah’s birthday after all. If he were here we would be having his birthday breakfast and giving him his one morning birthday present. Making pizza. Wrapping presents.
Judah’s birth eighteen years ago wasn’t how I hoped. I had hoped to go in at the last minute, but instead I tested positive for group B strep and had to go in to have IV antibiotics twice before delivering. All of my previous 3 births had been with an epidural, so I had hoped to have as natural a birth as possible this time. Unfortunately I ended up out of labor after having had antibiotics and so needed to be induced back into labor with pitocin. I then used an epidural again to manage the pain from the pitocin.
But in the end, Judah was born. He was healthy, despite having the cord wrapped around his neck twice. He even got me out of cooking our Thanksgiving meal. Our relatives cooked it themselves. And he was born shortly after noon so Leland could go eat with the family and bring me back some food afterwards. Judah was a fitting name since it means “praise” and he was born on Thanksgiving. We had so much to praise God for, even though things didn’t happen as I had hoped. Life is so often like that. Not giving us what we want, but being filled with blessings no matter how things work out.
So today I remember the blessing of Judah. I am thankful for all of the things that do fill my heart and mind, making life full even though I miss Judah. I will keep on walking the path before me until we meet again. Love you Judah.
Memories of Judah 